Week 7 Stats

People All Over The World...

Joe Byers is the Wild Turkeys' surprising runs leader. Look out.. Rickey Henderson, the Joe train is chugging along!

*artwork by Chris Larson

This will be posted every week until Brent attempts the Nacho Challenge

Turkeys Flying High After Sweeping Doubleheader

There are few things more majestic than a wild turkey sailing above, swooping down to catch fish or small dogs that it mistakes for rabbits. One of the few things that is more majestic is when the turkey is carrying a Miken NRG in its talon and it bludgeons a dirty grizzly to death. And the circle of life continues.

Last night the Wild Turkeys swept a doubleheader as they beat D & D and the Dirty Grizzlies. The first game of the night featured a much-improved D & D team. Their pitcher was throwing nothing but borderline-illegal high pitches, but the Turkeys kept biting (with their razor-sharp beaks). After taking several walks, the pitcher started throwing legal pitches, which led to a 20-16 Turkey come-from-behind win. The near-loss, and the patience needed at the plate in the first game led to a never-before-seen trouncing in the second game. The Wild Turkeys led off the second game with a two run first inning, an 18 RUN SECOND INNING, and a 5 run third inning. The game was called after three innings due to the 20 run rule, which nobody knew existed. Final score: 25-1.

The Turkeys' record improves to 6-1, with pivotal games against Dead Money and Ballz Deep next week.

Week 6 Stats

Around the League

After taking a look at the updated standings, I have a few observations. First, the original scores and standings on the league website had Ballz Deep beating Dead Money in their first matchup. However, the newest version had it the other way around. The revised version is reflected here.

It's also clear that there are two distinct classes in the league. The top 4 teams have beaten up on each other. Alliance beat Dead Money, Dead Money beat Ballz Deep twice and the Wild Turkeys once, and Ballz Deep and the Wild Turkeys beat Alliance. All of the top 4 teams' losses have come against other top 4 teams. The bottom of the division sucks, while PT Green is the suckiest bunch of sucks ever to suck. It's obvious that the only thing the bottom 4 can do is play spoiler if any of those teams can manage to beat a top 4 team. The league title will definitely come down to the top 4 teams' record against each other. Here are the current standings of the top 4 teams in games played against each other:

Dead Money: 3-1
Wild Turkeys: 1-1
Alliance: 1-2
Ballz Deep: 1-2

Games remaining against top 4 teams:

Ballz Deep: 4
Alliance: 4
Wild Turkeys: 4
Dead Money: 2

The Wild Turkeys have yet to play Ballz Deep (2 games remaining). Ballz Deep and Alliance still have to play each other for a second and third time of the season. The biggest day of the season will come on June 10, when the Wild Turkeys have games against Ballz Deep and Dead Money. Stay tuned, sports fans.

Updated Standings (Through 6/2)