HGH! Power Bars! Muscle Milk!!

What happened to the Turkeys on Tuesday night?? After several weeks of poor play, and the most embarrassing defeat in their history, the Turkeys beat CPC 18-8 in the first game, followed by an 18-6 win over Cargill Dow. The second game featured a 15 run 3rd inning by the Turkeys. What the dingus, heck I don't know. Just some solid hitting and good fielding and over 40 beers on the bench = 2-0 on the night. So what who cares.

Hopefully this carries over into broomball, because we're now 4-5 and have nothing to play for besides the dignity of .500 softball.

Week 6 Stats

Week 5 Stats

Week 4 Stats

Week 3 Stats

Week 2 Stats

Playoff Recap

Our up-and-down summer season finally ended yesterday with a 7-2 loss to Dead Money. The 4th seed Wild Turkeys faced the 5th seed Ballz Deep in the first round of the tourney a few weeks ago. Although we held a higher seed, Ballz Deep has absolutely owned us these year, taking all three matches. The game was more of the same, with the Turkeys losing 15-4 and heading to the loser's bracket. Because we wanted to play more games? Sure, why not.

Our second game we found ourselves facing the winless Team Extreme. With our offense looking anemic as of late, we were facing not only an early exit but the possibility of having to commit seppuku. Fortunately, the Turkeys pulled that game out 11-6. Too close for comfort.

In the second round of loser play, it was the Wild Turkeys vs. the Dirty Grizzlies. The Grizz finished the season towards the top of the league, but the Turks managed to beat them the last time these two teams played. The Turkeys retired the final batter of the game with the bases loaded, and pulled out the win, 12-11. On to the next round, and the next week.

With four teams remaining in the tournament, the Turkeys faced a rematch with Ballz Deep. You know how the old saying goes, "It's nearly impossible to beat a team 5 times in a season and twice in the same postseason." Or something like that. The old saying proved true, as the Turkeys beat the rover position and defied the scouting report, as they ten-runned BD 16-6.

Doublewide Xpress beat Dead Money in the winner's bracket, so they were next up for the Wild Turkeys/George Mason. The Turkeys played some great defense, and held Dead Money to only 7 runs, but they couldn't find any offensive magic and lost 7-2.

All in all, it was a good season. We finished third in the tournament and fourth overall in a pretty competitive league (besides The Extreme). We'll be back in the fall facing a few familiar faces, but after the fall, we bid farewell to the Minnetonka league due to their fascist prohibition-era legislation.

Final Summer Stats

Stats

Playoff Schedule

Stats

Busy Times for the Turkeys

Here's a summary of the last few weeks:
-Tom B completed the nacho challenge for a second time
-We got shut out by Dead Money, 8-0
-We lost in the bottom of the seventh to Ballz Deep
-Joe, Larson, Tom B, and Mike attempted the Crave Crate challenge and failed miserably
-We beat The Extreme to continue their winless season
-We had a surprise game against the first place Dirty Grizzlies, and defeated them

So that brings us to right now. The Wild Turkeys are 8-7, with one regular season game left against Ballz Deep before the post-season tournament. Our last game against Dirty Grizzlies showed a batting resurgence we had not seen in years- the first ten batters of the game reached base and scored. We're hoping the hot bats are peaking just in time for the playoffs.

And we're hoping that the postseason schedule is properly recorded on the blog.

Here's a link to the updated league standings

We've secured the fourth seed in the tournament, and a win against Ballz Deep will give us a first round game against Alliance Car Rental, a team we haven't lost to in years.

Updated Stats

Just Book Me, Pig

The Turkeys trounced the Silver Bullets 22-2 in 3 innings on Tuesday to bring their record to 4-4. In other, funnier news, Larson got a drinking ticket immediately after the game. After being harassed by the wiener-ish parks and rec cop before the game, he took a lap around the diamond during the game, he radioed in the real pigs to perform the coup de grace.

Larson was the only one to get a ticket, because he was the only one with a beer in his hand, but again we all have to split the ticket. This may mark the last time we drink in the parking lot before a game. The pre-game festivities may heretofore be held at Colin's or Brent's house. The MAN is going to need a warrant if he's going to keep 8 27 year olds from drinking 2 light beers before a softball game.

Stats

Season Update

The Wild Turkeys have seen better times. While their record is 3-4, which isn't terrible, all of their wins have come against inferior competition. They lost two close ones to Doublewide Express, which are important games in the race for a higher seed in the tournament.

The bats have been dead lately en route to only 10.7 runs per game. The defense has been adequate, but nothing spectacular.

One of the bright spots this year is that nobody has been ticketed for drinking in public by the Minnetonka PD. That, and the fact that the new ump lets us drink on the bench. So we have a couple things to build on!

We have a big doubleheader tomorrow night, and we need to take at least one game. I'll start blogging with more regularity once morale improves.

Updated Stats

Wild Turkey Beer Rules

Here are the definitive beer rules to be used until further notice

0 hits or walks in a game
3 or less plate appearances... 12 pack
4 or more plate appearances... 24 pack

Strikeout
Looking....................... 24 pack
Swinging...................... 24 pack
Foul Out...................... 12 pack

Pop out to catcher............... 24 pack

2 outs in one inning............. 24 pack

Ground into double play.......... 12 pack

Standings

Week 5 Stats

Week 4 Stats

Week 3 Stats

The Devil's Plaything

If Satan played D League softball, his bat would look like this:

Week 2 Stats

Turkeys Trounce The Extreme

In the regular season opener, the Wild Turkeys continued their hot hitting in a 20-2 throttling of The Extreme. They had innings of 4,5,0, and 11 runs in the 4 inning game, while they only surrendered 2. The 15-run rule was enforced, which doomed the hitless to pay for half of a case.

Woodpond pitched a complete game gem while the normal SP sat on the bench, rehabbing an injury and wearing pajamas. The hot bats continued, despite the bats all being a year old. It may have had to do with the dead air and the lack of humidity, but the Turkeys went over the homerun limit for the first time in a long time. Joe irresponsibly swung for the fences in the 4th inning for the final out.

In our first two games, we've scored 42 runs in only 10 innings. We expect the offensive output to quadruple once our new Miken Recoil makes it here for the next game.

Summer Stats

Turkeys Pound Silver Bullets in Exhibition

The Wild Turkey Softball Club started off on the right foot with a 22-7 beatdown of the Silver Bullets. Any signs of previous offensive ineptitude were erased as the Turkeys scored 22 in only 6 innings of play.

However, SP Tom Bequette LITERALLY started off on the wrong foot when he re-tore his Achilles tendon during the second at-bat of the season. He is doubtful for the rest of the season, and sources close to the pitcher reveal that he's in a deep alcohol-soaked depression. However, he'll stay on with the club as a manager because he has nothing else to do on Tuesday nights.

In the exhibition game, Larson hit two dingers, and Adam and Joe each added 1. The Turkeys hadn't hit 4 homeruns in a game in quite some time, so they were pleased to do so with old bats.

After the game, they celebrated the victory in extravagant fashion at the Park Tavern by ordering 6 pitchers for only 6 players. The waitress even stopped by to say hello and to praise us for our softball skills. She even showered us with a substantial check.

All hail the Turkeys

Opening Day is Here

On this 20th day of the 4th month in the 2010th year since JC's birth or death (I don't know), the Wild Turkeys kick off their 5th season with an exhibition game against the Silver Bullets. It's mid-afternoon and a few players are already wearing their Turkey Blue-and-Whites.

The weather is ideal for an early arrival to the back parking lot of Big Willow to pwn some Natties and Busch Lights. The Minnetonka police will surely be paying us a visit so they can selectively enforce their public drinking laws.

Here's the opening day lineup:

1. Woodpond- 3B
2. Tom B- P
3. Tom J- OF
4. Adam- OF
5. Larson- SS
6. Brent- 1B
7. Joe- OF
8. Derek- OF
9. Colin- 2B
10. Drew- UTIL

Although this is an exhibition game that doesn't count in the standings, the Turkeys are looking to get their offense in gear and start strong.

See you in the parking lot at 6

Career Stats

Hot Stove Softball!

It's time for our annual mid-January update. The days are getting longer, the players are getting antsier, and the ants in my pants have begun to dance, dance, dance.

The new beverage, the 'SoBeverclear' has been sweeping the nation. At least since midnight tonight. Tomorrow, most of the Turkeys will be testing their light beer drinking skills aboard a converted school bus in honor of Mike, Toms, and Brent's birthdays. Results and pictures will categorically be reported.

The Vikings have bestowed Super Bowl fever upon even the stodgiest of fans, during a time when the Wild Turkeys brand (NASDAQ "TURK") is flourishing. The broomball team is undeafeated and the basketball team is playing well.

Mike recently returned from the African continent, where he presumably picked up "free" labor who can patrol the outfield as easily as they can construct a wicker chair. We'll see if these off-season acquisitions pan out.

I'll see you guys in March, when Derek emerges from his ice cave and predicts if there is another six weeks of winter