Nacho Challenge

'Round these parts we have something called the "Nacho Challenge." It is the true intitiation into Turkeyhood. After every game, most players on the team head to the Park Tavern to replenish electrolytes and load up on complex proteins. One thing that everyone must complete, however, is the Nacho Challenge. It involves eating an entire plate of nachos by yourself. The rules are simple. You must eat everything on the plate, including the 2 sides (salsa or sour cream) and the lettuce garnish. You are not allowed to throw up. You must do it in one sitting. Those are the rules. Those who have finished the Challenge include: Colin, Derek, Joe, Larson, Tom B, Tom J, Jeff and Becky the fan, making her the queen of the fan club. However, there is one glaring omission. Brent, AKA Cheeze, AKA Vitamin Cheeze, AKA Senor Queso, has yet to finish the challenge in spite of what his nicknames suggest. He has failed twice, leaving him with only one opportunity left to complete the challenge before he suffers the consequences. He has proclaimed this will be done on Tuesday, June 3rd. Therefore, all of Wild Turkey Nation should be at our double-header on Tuesday to cheer on the team and then cheer on Cheezeman as he tries to write history.

Turkeys Trounce Alliance; Take Control of 2nd Place at 4-1

The Wild Turkeys continued their hot streak, as they ten-runned Alliance for the first time in this long-running rivalry. Alliance was held to 5 runs in the game, despite 2 homeruns by Big Daddy Alliance. The fielding was flawless in a game that saw Bequette's first K of the year, which led to the first ejection in league history (as far as I know). Colin and Joe contributed on the offensive side with a homer each, while Tom and Tom narrowly avoided the humiliation of going 0-4 by getting hits in their last at-bats.

In other league news, Alliance beat Dead Money in the first game of the night to give both teams at least two losses, putting the Turkeys in sole possession of second place. The Turkeys still have two games against first place Ballz Deep this season.

Up Next Week: A doubleheader against teams that our Co-Ed team could probably beat

Week 5 Stats

League Standings (through 5/13)

Wild Turkey Nation's National Anthem

We have all heard about Red Sawx Nation. Their obnoxious accents and condescending ways have enraged us since they won the first of two World Series titles a few years ago. However, Wild Turkey Nation has been growing and solidifying for the last three years. Does Red Sawx Nation have an anthem? If so, it's probably this. Here are the lyrics to the Wild Turkey National Anthem...

Nat-ty ice
Stay close to me
Don't let me be alone
It's tearin' apart
My blue, blue heart

-natty ice rap section-

Nat-ty ice you make me feel so fine
You keep me rocking all of the time

Nat-ty ice you make me feel so grand
I feel a million dollars when you're just in my hand

Nat-ty ice you make me feel so sad
Any time i see you go it makes me feel bad

Nat-ty ice you make me feel so fine
Monkey pack him rizla pon the sweet dep line

Nat-ty ice you give me a whole heap of zing
Whole heap of zing mek me do me own thing

/wipes tear from eye

Wild Turkeys Win PT Cup; Improve to 3-1

Every year, on the third Tuesday in May, the Wild Turkeys and Park Tavern Green play for the coveted Park Tavern Cup. This year, the Turkeys won in dominating fashion, 17-5. Instead of one offensive outburst, it was a slow, dominating performance in which only one homerun (a solo shot) was hit. Tom B had a no-hitter through three innings, but it was broken up in the fourth as PT Green put their only 5 runs on the board. The Turkeys swiftly retaliated with a string of singles and put the game out of reach.

Our record after pre-game drinking: 3-0
Our record after pre-game sobriety: 0-1

It's clear that we need to drink before the game. Derek unintentionally introduced us to our new beer of choice. After we won the game, Jake was so excited we won the trophy that he merged our favorite beer and the trophy into a super-awesome costume.

All hail the Turkeys!

Week 4 Stats

Turkeys Split Doubleheader, Move to 2-1

The night started off in bad fashion after Tom Bequette surrendered 12 runs off of 1 million hits in the top of the first inning against Dead Money. "I attribute it to a lack of warmup time in the bullpen. My fastball wasn't there and the slider wasn't cutting." He settled down after that, allowing only 13 runs over the next 4 innings. However, the Turkeys bats could not catch up, and they ended up losing 25-10 in 5 innings. The second game was a different story. The hour in between games provided the warmup the team needed. The Turkeys bats exploded for 3 homeruns and 10 runs in the second inning against the Silver Bullets. Mediocre, at best, defense and dynamite hitting paved the way for a 19-5 Turkeys win.

Player of the day: Jake regained form and went 6-7 on the day with a homerun.

Goat of the day: Park Tavern, for not giving us a full sponsorship. Mullarkey!

Cases owed: 1-Derek (O-fer)

Up Next: PT Green

Week 3 Stats

Week 1 Analysis

The league office published the scores from week 1. Using a complex mathematical algorithm, I extracted the standings. A few things stuck out to me...

1. Ballz Deep ten-runned Alliance and squeaked by Dead Money
2. Dead Money ten-runned PT Green and almost beat Ballz Deep
3. PT Green was ten-runned twice
4. PT Green must suck.
5. Five teams in our rear-view mirror. We're comin!

League Standings

Ballz Deep......... 2-0
Wild Turkeys....... 1-0
Silver Bullets..... 1-0
Dirty Grizzlies.... 1-1
Dead Money......... 1-1
Alliance........... 0-1
D & D.............. 0-1
Park Tavern Green.. 0-2

Week 2 Stats

New Site Feature

In an effort to make this site more interactive, I, the WebMaster, have authorized comment posting. Therefore, if you would like to comment on a post, feel free to do so. Long live the Turkeys!