Fans Abandon Team in Pennant Race

pictured: Don Larson

On a beautiful 80 degree night, only one fan showed up to our game. Rumors are going around that the Wild Turkey faithful have deserted the team after they "got theirs" at Fan Appreciation Night. New rule: From here on out, Fan Appreciation Night will be held after an undisclosed game. After said game, we can 'appreciate' the fans in attendance by filling them with beer and brats. At least we don't have Cubs Fans!

Turkeys Improve to 10-1

The Wild Turkeys won their 9th consecutive game in a 22-11 beating of Park Tavern Green. It was a lackluster effort, but proved to be enough against the worst team in the league. There were not too many highlights in this one. Perhaps the best moment was when Derek took a mighty swing at a 2-2 pitch and struck out. Free beer for all!

The fact that the Miken NRG was not in attendance didn't help either. Next week we've got games against Ballz Deep and Alliance. It should prove to be our final test of the year.

Brent Opts Out of Nacho Challenge Yet Again

...is what Brent would have said had he attempted the Nacho Challenge. Seriously folks, this is getting ridiculous. This time, Brent put 150 miles between him and the nearest gargantuan nacho plate. Close circuit to Brent: Quit running from your problems. You need to tackle this thing head-on. We will still like you whether you succeed or not. But we'll like you more if you succeed.

*Artwork by Chris Larson

Week 9 Stats

PUMP IT UP!!!

While Park Tavern Green is 0-11, they may not be all that bad. They've had close defeats at the hands of Ballz Deep and Alliance, 20-15 and 21-18, respectively. We can't look at this game as an automatic victory.

Also, many people have thought about tailgating/warming up at about 6:30. Most Turkeys will be there. In addition, there is a marquee matchup before our game at 7:05: Alliance vs. Dead Money, Part II. Many of you will remember that Alliance is the only other team to beat Dead Money. We'll have to show up and give Big Daddy Alliance some support.

Also, here is an amazing painting that would impress the likes of Andre Breton. It's entitled "THR33 RUNZ LEADERZ," by Chris Larson.

Updated Extended Standings

They posted the scores and standings on the league website so I decided to do some number-crunching.

And yes, my boss is gone today.

2008 Stat Breakdown

This season's stats put into perspective*

9-1 (10-1 overall)
8 wins in a row
8-0 with pre-game drinking
1-1 (2-1 overall) without pre-game drinking

181 runs scored in 11 games
16.45 runs per game
3.07 runs per inning
21.49 runs per 7 innings
10 games scoring more than 10 runs

98 runs allowed
8.91 runs allowed per game
1.66 runs allowed per inning
11.63 runs allowed per 7 innings
3 games allowing more than 10 runs

20-run rule called: 1 game
15-run rule called: 1 game
10-run rule called: 4 games

*stats include 1 exhibition game

A Turkey Delight

The Wild Turkeys gave those who showed up for Fan Appreciation Night a show in a 31-6 route of the Silver Bullets. The Turkeys improved to 9-1 and maintained their roost atop the standings. This game saw the largest offensive output by a team in the league this year, and was the first time a team scored 30 runs since the Rangers dropped 30 on the Orioles. "Michael GABBERT didn't have a single RBIIII, while the 7-8-9 hitters combined for TWELVE!!!"

The most impressive aspect was the improvement on two-out hitting. The majority of the runs scored were after two men were out. More impressive facts: 1. The game only lasted four innings and the Turkeys put up 31 runs. 2. 7 players batted 5 times each. 3. The team batted around in two different innings 4. Joe scored 5 runs 5. Larson has a hit a grand slam in his second consecutive game (who are you, Michael Cuddyer ca. 2007?)

In pitching news, Brent "Every Day Cheddar" Wiessner came into the game in the bottom of the 4th to pick up the save. The 26-run cushion wouldn't normally allow for a save opportunity, but he entered the game in only the 4th inning, much like when Wes Littleton picked up the save by entering in the 7th inning of the aforementioned Texas game.

Fan Appreciation Night kicked into high gear after the game in Golden Valley. There was plenty of champagne for all, as well as freshly-grilled brats and knock-off chips and cheese doodles. Good times!

Week 8 Stats

3rd Annual Fan Appreciation Night

Tomorrow night we will be hosting the 3rd Annual Wild Turkey Fan Appreciation Night. It will be at Coach Bequette's house following our 6 pm game. As a show of appreciation, the team will provide a keg for the guests' enjoyment. Wild Turkey Nation will also get the chance to get autographs from and pose for pictures with REAL LIVE WILD TURKEYS!! The party starts at 7:30, so be there or be square.

*Since we will not be going to Park Tavern following the game, I will not post a picture of Brent's face super-imposed on a cowardly animal because he won't have a chance to attempt the Nacho Challenge. Thanks for your understanding.

League Standings

Mike Dominates Nacho Challenge

Last night, Mike had no problem taking down the plate of beef nachos. He opted out of the sour cream side and instead chose to double-fist the salsa. His strategies included getting the salsa out of the way early and creating a lettuce wrap out of the garnish. Brent was quietly taking notes in the background. On behalf of the Wild Turkey Softball blog, I extend a hearty congratulations!

*artwork by Derek Weinberger

This will be posted every week until Brent attempts the Nacho Challenge

While Brent "chickened" out again, Mike pounded his chest and completed the challenge with nary a bat of an eye.

"So does this mean I have to go home with Mike tonight?"
-Kate

Snap!

*artwork by Tom Bequette

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!!

WOOOO!!! The Wild Turkeys pulled off what was previously thought impossible. In the first game, they topped a Ballz Deep team that had beaten them in every game they've played. The Turkeys and BD were battling back and forth throughout the game, with BD holding an 8-6 lead going into the top of the 7th. The Turkeys strung a few singles together and put one run on the board, and with one out and a man on second and third, Jake unleashed a mighty clout to put the Turkeys up 10-8 going into the bottom of the 7th. Ballz Deep managed to put one run on the board before flying out to end the game. It was the first Turkey win over BD, and it gave BD their fourth loss of the season, all but eliminating them from title contention.

The second game of the doubleheader featured a team that handed the Turkeys their only loss of the season. League-leading Dead Money beat the Wild Turkeys 25-10 in Week 2. However, the Turkeys managed to put together a 6 game winning streak to tie Dead Money in the standings. Both teams came into the game at 7-1, but Dead Money held the tiebreaker and another loss would make Dead Money's lead nearly insurmountable. This game was another back-and-forth contest, in which no team held a lead for more than two innings. All of the Turkey runs came off of two grand slams (Larson and Jake) and a solo shot by Cooper. Dead Money could not produce offensively, as starting pitcher Tom Bequette kept them on their heels by throwing a mix of balls, strikes, and high pitches. He recorded two Ks in the doubleheader. At the end of the 6th inning, the Turkeys held a 9-7 lead with no homeruns remaining, while Dead Money had one remaining. In the top of the 7th, Dead Money strung together some hits and cracked a three-run homerun, putting the game at 10-9 going into the bottom of the 7th. Jake led the bottom of the inning off with a triple before he was stranded there for an at-bat while the next batter grounded out to first. Two subsequent singles tied the game with one out, putting a man on first and second. The next batter hit a tailor-made double-play ball, but the shortstop bobbled it and everyone was safe. With the infield playing in, Mike did the only thing he was trying not to do, and drilled a grounder to first base, but the first basemen couldn't make the out at home. GAME OVER!! TURKEYS WIN! TURKEYS WIN!

I would also like to thank Wild Turkey Nation for showing up in droves. Even during our away game, we had far more fans in the stands than Ballz Deep.

The wins put the Turkeys at 8-1, with Dead Money at 7-2 and Ballz Deep at 5-4. From here on out the Turkeys are in the driver's seat.

Week 7 Stats

People All Over The World...

Joe Byers is the Wild Turkeys' surprising runs leader. Look out.. Rickey Henderson, the Joe train is chugging along!

*artwork by Chris Larson

This will be posted every week until Brent attempts the Nacho Challenge

Turkeys Flying High After Sweeping Doubleheader

There are few things more majestic than a wild turkey sailing above, swooping down to catch fish or small dogs that it mistakes for rabbits. One of the few things that is more majestic is when the turkey is carrying a Miken NRG in its talon and it bludgeons a dirty grizzly to death. And the circle of life continues.

Last night the Wild Turkeys swept a doubleheader as they beat D & D and the Dirty Grizzlies. The first game of the night featured a much-improved D & D team. Their pitcher was throwing nothing but borderline-illegal high pitches, but the Turkeys kept biting (with their razor-sharp beaks). After taking several walks, the pitcher started throwing legal pitches, which led to a 20-16 Turkey come-from-behind win. The near-loss, and the patience needed at the plate in the first game led to a never-before-seen trouncing in the second game. The Wild Turkeys led off the second game with a two run first inning, an 18 RUN SECOND INNING, and a 5 run third inning. The game was called after three innings due to the 20 run rule, which nobody knew existed. Final score: 25-1.

The Turkeys' record improves to 6-1, with pivotal games against Dead Money and Ballz Deep next week.

Week 6 Stats

Around the League

After taking a look at the updated standings, I have a few observations. First, the original scores and standings on the league website had Ballz Deep beating Dead Money in their first matchup. However, the newest version had it the other way around. The revised version is reflected here.

It's also clear that there are two distinct classes in the league. The top 4 teams have beaten up on each other. Alliance beat Dead Money, Dead Money beat Ballz Deep twice and the Wild Turkeys once, and Ballz Deep and the Wild Turkeys beat Alliance. All of the top 4 teams' losses have come against other top 4 teams. The bottom of the division sucks, while PT Green is the suckiest bunch of sucks ever to suck. It's obvious that the only thing the bottom 4 can do is play spoiler if any of those teams can manage to beat a top 4 team. The league title will definitely come down to the top 4 teams' record against each other. Here are the current standings of the top 4 teams in games played against each other:

Dead Money: 3-1
Wild Turkeys: 1-1
Alliance: 1-2
Ballz Deep: 1-2

Games remaining against top 4 teams:

Ballz Deep: 4
Alliance: 4
Wild Turkeys: 4
Dead Money: 2

The Wild Turkeys have yet to play Ballz Deep (2 games remaining). Ballz Deep and Alliance still have to play each other for a second and third time of the season. The biggest day of the season will come on June 10, when the Wild Turkeys have games against Ballz Deep and Dead Money. Stay tuned, sports fans.

Updated Standings (Through 6/2)