They Took Ur Jurbs!!

REUTERS-

A Belgian conglomerate has agreed to the purchase of Budweiser, pending shareholder approval. Budweiser, along with it's high-end lager, Natural Light, are now in the hands of a Belgian company which is now the largest beer distributor in the world. The beer industry in the United States has taken a tremendous hit. The hardest-hit area is the parking lot behind field #6 at Big Willow Park in Minnetonka, Minnesota. The Wild Turkey softball team has decided to boycott the rice beer now that all of the profits from its main source of alcohol are going towards the production of larger, more pure waffles. An official spokesman for the team hinted that they will be drinking quality beer owned by an American company in the near future, not sissy beverages distributed by cheese-eating surrender monkeys('s neighbors).